Nothing, I've found, turns out quite the way you'd hoped. Maybe worse, maybe better, more often simply just... different.

It seems you only get the kind of clarity you need, crave, pray for in the dark hours staring at your ceiling bathed in the moon-glow streaming over the top of the scarlet sheet stretched over the blinds, only after it could possibly, feasibly, have done any good. Second chances that seemed like such a good idea have long since bitten you on the ass and you're wondering what it will be next time, the thing that makes you break your "Never, ever again" rule.

And it's always something.
"Never again,
is what you swore,
the time before."

Something always jogs the reverie, ignites the pilot light with that spark of hope, even if hoping has never really gotten you anywhere, at least not anywhere good... It's just like breathing, though, you can't really help taking that next breath, even if you want to, try to. It just happens, just like everything else. You simply can't help who you fall for.
Or who you don't...

'You still have your health', right? Or your roof or your warm bed or your sense of humor, of wit, your bubbly personality against most if not all odds. But still, 'If wellness is this, what in hell's name is sickness?'


I'll definitely remember to err on the side of caution, next time...